Recently, I ran to the store around 9pm when, mid-lunch box assembly, we realized that we didn't have milk, fruit or bread. I walked in the door to find the staff straightening the canned goods and stacking the fruit and veg. With 90s alternative jams as their sound track (hello, Ace of Base. When did I forget how awesome you are?!?), they brought order to every aisle and made sure the shelves were fully stocked again.
As I walked from cereal to spices to pasta, I was surrounded by organizational perfection-- which was simultaneously stunning and slightly unnerving. Every can and box kissed the very edge of the shelf, with soldier-straight rows of the same product lined up behind, just waiting for the next shopper's grocery list to beckon.
Everything is lined up and organized.
Everything has a place; their parenting strategy is intentional and researched.
Their chore charts are hung on the fridge with care, with hopes that gold stars will soon be there. Sock drawers are organized by color-- and the socks that are paired up actually match each other. Their little girls keep their headbands and hair bows in all day, and their little boys can drink a chocolate milk box without squeezing half of the contents all over their new white shirt.
These are parents who thrive on order and organization and peace and calm. I love and admire my friends like this; their hearts beat to a tidy and organized rhythm.
In my house, it's more like rummaging through the bargain bins at a thrift shop.
Most of the time, things are out of place, upside down, and not quite organized.
About 5 years ago, I totally gave up on matched socks. (As a side note, right after I surrendered to a fully mismatched future, companies began selling 3 socks that didn't match. For money. In stores. I knew I was on to something. Missed out on a million dollar idea.)
I don't fold underwear, and one time, when I pulled out the iron (because something sat for too long in the dryer), the kids literally said, "what's that mom?"
I rifle through ideas, looking for one that will work for right now....because nothing works forever.
I'm totally content using meal-plans and chore systems and fun Friday night ideas that someone else has come up with, and I up-cycle to make my own.
I understand that, like bargain hunting, I won't always come away with something awesome. But, I also know that, every now and then, I find something amazing that makes all of the chaos worth it.
At my house, we are spicy and loud. We are loud music at 7 am and rowdy game nights. Sometimes my kids drink milk straight out of the carton (not a hill I want to die on), and most days there are at least 3 pairs of shorts on the floor.
You know what I realized as I walked through that grocery store?
We need them both.
We need the parents leading their families like bargain shopping champions.
We need the parents leading their families like a fully stocked food market from a photo shoot.
I need reminders that order and routine and deadlines and expectations are real and necessary.
I have friends who say that my house is their reminder to let loose, relax, and be in the moment a little bit more.
I need reminders that punctuality is important because it tells the other person you respect them and their time.
I have friends who need the reminder that scavenger hunts on New Year's Eve are awesome and bedtimes on the weekend can be negotiated every now and then.
When you come into community with other moms, just remember that you may be running your stores differently. Don't be afraid to step into peace and calm and quiet, if you are a die-hard bargain shopper. And, don't be afraid to roll up your sleeves and get a little crazy if your shelves are stocked and orderly. There is beauty in both spaces.
And, in 90s alternative jams. Just sayin.
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