Yesterday, I loaded the dishwasher but forgot to turn it on, so this morning that's how my day started. While the kids were primping and eating and making lunches for school, I crammed a few more breakfast dishes in and turned the dishwasher on to run. I also finished the hand-wash pot that was soaking by the sink and wiped down the counter around the sink. Then I stepped back and took a deep breath, did a little victory dance, and admired my completed task-- already productive, even before the sun was up!
Not ten minutes later, as I moved through the kitchen making some tea, I noticed that there were already more dishes in the sink! Like a pin to a balloon, my sense of accomplishment deflated and I shook my head in disbelief. How short lived that victory was! How quickly that task moved from the "done" column on my mental checklist back to the "to-do" column. Even before the sun was up!
I will tell you that feeling defeated before 0700 is no way to start the day. It sets a despondent tone for the rest of the day that is hard to overcome. Everything becomes harder, more frustrating, and stacked against you. All aboard the train to disappointment-- stopping at every station, all. day. long.
Startled by how much power a cereal bowl and some spoons had over me, I had to intentionally stop my brain and my body to reframe.
This is where you might expect this message to take a distinctly "Pollyanna perspective," but I don't want to patronize you by saying you should be thankful for the dishes in the sink because they represent the people you love, eating food you are blessed to have. Let's be real: you do love your people, and you are thankful for food, but c'mon. More often than not, I do not have the joy, joy, joy down in my heart when it comes to menial, mundane tasks that feel like they never. ever. end.
So, when I was faced with this moment-- standing in my pjs, hot tea in hand-- it felt pivotal.
Pivotal because I've been practicing not equating my worth and value with how many things I accomplish in a day.
Pivotal because I could sideline the other things that will help me keep a healthy attitude and approach to the day (hello, bible study and exercise) in favor of washing the dishes in a soapy basin full of resentment and frustration, but I didn't.
It does not serve me to pretend that I am excited about the dishes. However, it also does not serve me to let them dictate how I am going to feel about, and move through, my day.
More dishes in the sink DID NOT invalidate the effort I put in earlier.
More dishes in the sink DID NOT nullify my previous productivity.
More dishes in the sink DID NOT mean that everything today was going to be a meaningless treadmill of unending tasks.
So, I tilted my mug toward the sink in a "cheers" gesture of acknowledgement.
I see you, cereal bowl.
You have reminded me that my worth does not come from accomplishment.
You have given me a chance to practice saying "not right now" to things that aren't my priority.
You have allowed me to stay on the platform and let that train of disappointment pass right on by.
Even before the sun was up.
Amen. Love. And this post is going on the inside cover of my daily planner— right next to my pledge to SHED resentment and ‘hamster wheel’ laments… instead shift to SHE D iscovers delight in her day , SHE D eletes negative thoughts, SHE D esigns meaningful encounters, etc. so…. when is the devotion and journal book of motivational reflections being published?
ReplyDeleteWOW you just keep nailing it on the head and keeping it real. Even when there is only two people in the house it is so easy to get undone by the stupid little thinks. I'm working on putting God first and letting myself mentally and physically focus on the positive. As always, love your writing ❤
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